Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey hit bookstores, women have been asking me questions about sexual contracts. Are they real? How do they work? After all, when you think about it, E. James' Fifty Shades of Grey is a 500+ page contract negotiation. (the list goes on in the actual contract) The Submissive will accept and agree to acknowledge without hesitation the fact that the Dominant does not know much about acceptably demeaning except for what he read in Chapter 11 of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” 5.
Rachel, a 39-year-old mother and lawyer from New Jersey, specializes in medical malpractice and often asks 'intimate' questions in obstetrical cases, but scenes from the new erotic trilogy, '50 Shades of Grey,' shocked even her. 'I am not a prude and I am not shy,' she said. 'But this book made me blush.' The romance novels of are heating up bedrooms across the country, and fans can't seem to get enough of what is being called 'mommy porn.'
Anastasia Steele, 21, and a virginal college student, can't say no to dashing 27-year-old Christian Grey, who insists she sign a contract that allows him to submit her to his every sadomasochistic whim. In their first sexual encounter, Grey unveils his silver tie and binds her wrists in knots, and Steele does as she is told. He is also fabulously rich, a telecommunications tycoon, and uses his wealth to take care of her like a pampered princess. 'Ana,' as he calls her, willingly and excitedly agrees to spanking, whipping and gagging, with props like ice, rope, tape - a repertoire right out of a BDSM bondage, discipline, dominance and submission manual. Grey instructs her to call him, 'sir,' and sets rules on everything from her diet to her most intimate grooming routines. 'I loved the book - all three,' said Rachel, who has been married to her husband since she was 19 and has a healthy sex life.
'But this is pretty hard-core porn.' 'The first book is very, very graphic and harsh with a lot of S & M – and quite frankly, did not do it for me,' she said. 'I would never try anything with pain.'
But, she got hooked on the romance that develops in the second book, when Steele tries to change Grey. 'What I loved was that it was a great love story.' The heart of the romance is the notion of submission and the way in which Steele accommodates Grey to 'make him love her,' according to Rachel.
'She sees being submissive as a necessity to save him,' she said. 'He was broken. That was more of the appeal. And the sex was a bonus.'
British mom and former TV producer James initially wanted to replicate the success of the 'Twilight' fan fiction series. The novels were published by a small independent Australian press and hard copy distribution was limited. So 90 percent of sales were discreet ebook downloads, which saw it rise to number one on its ebook fiction bestseller list in March. Vintage Books just bought the rights to all three novels and plan to do a film. Its success raises the question how sexual submission, especially when pain is involved, could be such a turn-on for many young well-educated suburban women who are empowered economically and enlightened sexually.
Most agree it's a cheese-ball narrative whose heroine is incapable of using adult language. She refers to her genitals euphemistically as 'my sex.' 'Our customers are very smart and they say it's badly written, but they are in the middle of book three,' laughed Margot Sage EL, co-owner of the Watchung Booksellers in Montclair, N.J., which carries the trilogy. 'None of us at the bookstore have been able to read it. The print on-demand version comes in and goes out right away.' 'One woman couldn't believe her friend was so gushing about it,' she said. 'She was horrified by the domination.'
'But when you're a young mom and everyone depends on you for everything - your husband your mother - the idea of having someone take care of you and telling you what to do, even in twisted sense, it rocks their boat.' The dialogue is, indeed, corny. 'Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I've been here. You are mine,' Grey tells Steele after he takes her virginity. After her first spanking, the 'dom' congratulates his 'sub:' 'Well done, baby.' She coos to the reader: 'His words curl around me like a soft fluffy towel from the Heathman Hotel, and I'm so pleased he's happy.'
50 Shades of Grey Has Post-Feminist Appeal But how does a cross between the 'Story of O' and a Harlequin romance sit with a generation of post-feminists who are in full charge of their careers and are unabashedly straightforward about their sexual needs? In different columns in The New York Times last weekend, and suggest the submissive female phenomenon may be linked to women's rise to economic and political power. After taking charge in the workplace and bossing the children around at home, women can be turned on by surrendering that control. Bruni notes the trend is also seen in the new HBO series 'Girls' - a modern 'Sex and the City,' whose main character matter-of-factly enjoys submissive sex games.
Bold and aggressive Samantha Jones, she is not. And Bruni asks, 'Gloria Steinem went to the barricades for this? Salaries may be better than in decades past and the cabinet and Congress less choked with testosterone. But in the bedroom?'
, a couples' therapist who coordinates mental health training at ULCA, said that even though women have made 'great progress' in gender equality, biological models still prevail: strong male, submissive female. She said the book is rather tame by bondage standards and mirrors an age-old fantasy among women. The psyche doesn't change, according to Solomon, author of 'Love and War and Intimate Relationships.' For women, with so much on their plates, 'they get tired of always being the strong one' she said. 'She won't be truly hurt,' said Solomon, who notes that Grey gives Steele safe words to guide their sex play: 'yellow' for caution and 'red' to stop. 'What she is agreeing to is being with someone stronger and richer who feels safe,' said Solomon. 'We can ask how she let her herself get into it but we always say women are trained to want men a little bit older, a little bit smarter, a little bit richer and a little bit taller.'
Christian Grey is faithful to Steele with unwavering respect. And he practices safe sex, always using a condom. But he is a badly damaged man - with big-time mommy issues. His mother was a 'crack whore' whose pimps extinguished cigarettes on the young boy's body. At the age of 4, he watches her die.
'Women are always drawn to men who are vulnerable,' said Solomon, hoping they can save them. 'Human beings are like nested Russian dolls,' she said. 'On the outside you see a functioning adult. But the dolls get smaller and smaller until there is a tiny baby inside. We all have that.'
And that applies to men as well. Solomon said she has seen just as many male clients - 'men powerful in business' –-who wanted to be taken care of. But, author of 'A Strange Stirring,' which examines the rise of feminism and the changing status of women throughout the 1950s and 1960s, said that although women have for centuries fantasized about submission to a dangerous man, it's a cultural construct. 'As a historian, I do not believe that women have some gene or evolutionary drive to be submissive,' she said. 'In fact, many women can be sexually aggressive.'
She acknowledges that fear and submission have been the 'staple of women's erotica' - but not because their careers are so tightly wound that they need the sexual release. 'Women are susceptible to this not because of the power gains they have made, but in spite of them,' she said.
'For the last 200 years, the definition of male-female roles is that men are strong, silent and protective. One of the common fantasies is that you take someone who is so threatening and scary and find that the core in him is that he loves and protects you instead.' She said the book is a 'classic case' of fear fueling sexual attraction. 'This has always been a disturbing aspect of women's history,' said Coontz. 'We're all creatures of a combination of sociology and biology and often adrenaline is easily confused with love and desire.' Rather than moving backward, she said women are feeling freer to 'play a wide range of sexual adventures.'
Baker, a 24-year-old staff writer for the sex and celebrity website Jezebel, agrees that women are more open-minded about pornography. In her column, she reports that some women were so excited about the book they were buying their husband's silver ties Grey's signature ligature. But she couldn't really see the how the book could be considered such a turn-on. 'It's really bad and I don't think it really appeals to younger readers,' said Baker.
'Besides, 'mommy porn' is a really gross term.' 'It's really cool that women feel comfortable exploring their sexuality.' But come on, she insists, 'a 21-year-old virgin who has never kissed a guy?' 'It's a fairytale - the same kind of princess and prince story - with a twist,' said Baker. 'I call it hate reading.
We read it, to make fun of it.'
Author. Senior Lecturer in Law, University of Technology Sydney Disclosure statement Thalia Anthony does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
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Christian Grey knows exactly his hard limits in sadomasochism and he may also know a thing or two about his legal limits. The Dominant character Grey in the fantasy fiction is bent on alluring his coprotagonist, Anastasia (Ana) Steele, to become his Submissive in a BDSM – Bondage & Discipline (BD) Domination & Submission (DS) Sadism & Masochism (SM) – relationship. The layers of coercion, consent, pleasure and pain are as complex as the acronym itself and defined by the participants themselves. The cinematic account of this fiction – released this past weekend – illustrates some of the problematic demarcations in the law of assault in the real world. When Grey informs the innocent Ana about the unnegotiable “hard limits” he sets down in a contract governing their BDSM activities – including no fire play, cutting, piercing, bloodletting, gynaecological instruments, scarring, permanent disfiguration, breath control, defecating/ urinating or use of electric current – she is confounded (probably with a blush and the cautious words of her subconscious).
The law is a bit confounded too. “Hard limits” – in the BDSM arrangement between Grey and Ana – are those activities excluded from the pair’s BDSM arrangement as a safety precaution. “Soft limits” – such as caning and flogging – are more negotiable: Grey does not regard them as a safety issue but they’re left open for negotiation on the grounds that they may cause unbearable pain. So what does the law have to say about legal status of the sadomasochistic acts?
A legal perspective For criminal lawyers, for humans in general, the hard limits described above may look a little bit like assault. The offence of wounding or grievous bodily harm with intent – which includes where there is permanent disfiguration or serious harm – attracts a maximum sentence 25 years imprisonment. In Australia’s Northern Territory, mandatory prison sentences apply to first-time serious violent offenders.
This may include acts involving cutting, scarring, whipping or caning. But the legislation does not prescribe the nature of violent activities or whether inflicting pain in the name of sexual pleasure is permissible. In principle, if the participant suffering the harm consents to the violence, this would legalise what would otherwise be deemed assault.
In Fifty Shades, Christian Grey’s relentless pursuit of Ana’s consent before engaging in BDSM was well-advised, as consent provides an important pillar in nullifying assault claims – but it’s not the only pillar. There are, it seems, at least 50 shades of grey when it comes to the application of the laws relating to consensual bodily harm. The law on consensual violence is cobbled together from a small pool of legal cases.
The parameters are rarely tested, given that consenting and willing participants are hardly going to complain to police and press charges. Cases are often brought to the attention of authorities when something goes wrong or evidence emerges during an investigation for another crime (such as video tapes found during a drug investigation). Demarcations of acceptable harm, beyond which would constitute serious assault, appear to hinge on the participants. In cases of “rough but innocent horse-play” in heterosexual relations, or manly violence inflicted in boxing or prize fighting, courts have refrained from convicting participants of assault due to the presence of consent. Consent also legalises bodily harm arising in the normal course of surgery, contact sports, ritual circumcision, tattooing and ear piercing. But the law has been less accommodating with similar acts and similar levels of harm in different contexts. Beyond consent Courts have condemned consensual acts of gay sadomasochism or Indigenous law punishment.
The Northern Territory Supreme Court in of Re Anthony held that it could not condone the offender being let into the community to allegedly have Elders in the Tanami Desert community of Lajamanu spear him in the leg and hit him with nulla nullas. The Court regarded that it was immaterial that the offender consented to the spearing, on the grounds that it would restore relations and remove the curse of his offence, because the serious nature of the harm meant it was not in the community’s interest. In the, the House of Law found that consensual sadomasochistic activities involving a group of gay men was illegal. This case was brought to the House of Lords to determine whether proof of wounds or harmful assaults in the course of sadomasochism required the prosecution to prove a lack of consent. The majority held that the gay sadomasochistic assaults were unlawful “because public policy required that society be protected by criminal sanctions against a cult of violence which contained the danger of the proselytisation and corruption of young men”.
It also regarded the availability of code words that the participants could pronounce to discontinue the act as insufficient evidence of ongoing consent. This may be news to Mr Grey, in Fifty Shades, who sets down safewords (“Yellow” for caution and “Red” to stop) for Ana to use when the violence becomes unacceptable. Permissible harm Apart from courts relying on morality and colonial jurisdiction to set limits for lawful bodily harm, there is a spectrum of permissible harms in the context of consensual force (at least as far as BDSM and Indigenous law is concerned) that does not extend to wounding or serious harm. The law may differ in other settings, such as permitting wounding in a tattoo parlour or through an elective caesarean. In R v Brown, where the House of Lords considered the legality of harm in gay sadomasochistic acts, it prohibited genital torture, violence (including beating) to the buttocks, anus, penis, testicles and nipples, branding, bloodletting and wounding with instruments. The majority described these acts as uncivilised, involving the indulgence of cruelty by sadists and humiliating and degrading activities such as defecation.
There is a lack of legal precedent on whether public policy would grant heterosexual couples with greater latitude to exact consensual sadomasochistic harm. The excluded “hard limits of harm”, such as bloodletting and permanent disfigurement, in Christian and Ana’s arrangement is a sensible legal precaution (and naturally speaks to Christian’s high romantic ideals).
For Ana, however, it is the soft (more negotiable) limits inflicted in the punishment process that terrify and upset her they most. They include flogging, spanking, whipping and caning to maintain Grey’s control over Ana as part of their Dominant and Submissive relationship. The punishment not only applies to Ana’s defiance in the Playroom (aka Red Room of Pain) but also contravening Christian’s decrees on her eating, exercise, sleep, dress, grooming, relationships and forms of communication.
Ana is reluctant to offer her consent to the acts of punishment. However, even with consent, it is unlikely that the acts would escape lawful punishment based on the level of serious harm and the intimidation that underpins the procurement of Ana’s consent. Fifty Shades of Grey opens up a minefield on the issues at play in consensual acts of violence and their legal status in and out of the pleasuredome.